Saludos!
I still can’t believe it’s already over! Ten whole days in the motherland for the Peace Corps Blog It Home tour flew by. From presentations in elementary and middle schools to nomming mass amount of food from foodtrucks to visiting the White House and seeing my best friends, this was a much needed break from my site and as one blogger aptly put it, “the best week of my life.”
I’ve been struggling for a few days now thinking about what I want to say in this mensaje. I of course want to tell you that America was beautiful (so clean) and easy to settle back into (English, amirite?) and fun (I love my best friends), but I really want to reflect on the experience Peace Corps gave me to come home and "third goal" (basically rave) about the DR in the midst of my service. The Peace Corps’ Third Goal is “To help promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans.” Historically, Peace Corps hasn’t been all that down with blogging. We heard from an RPCV that in his day (2005) a friend of his was administratively separated from Peace Corps for keeping a blog. I’m sure HQ thought, holy shit, 7,000 volunteers with the potential to write about everything is probably not our best PR strategy. Eventually, Peace Corps only request was to put a disclaimer on the blog. And soon enough the Office of the Third Goal was created and the staff began to write little notes to people keeping blogs to say “great job” and “keep it up.” Their brief messages were met with a surprising amount of enthusiasm from the volunteers, who probably considered blogging to be something keep under the PC radar. PC was surprised by the enthusiasm from volunteers who usually hear more “no, no, no” than “go, go, go” from the higher ups. The office thought that they could build on this excitement and thus the “Blog it Home” contest was created.
So there I was, home in America, to share the culture of the Dominican Republic with Americans during the mid-point in my service. It was a fairly daunting task especially since so much will only become clear to me in retrospect. With 8 other amazing PCVs (and all my borrowed professional clothes from Arlen and Kris), we were shuffled in ubers from meetings to presentations to professional development opportunities to dinners to happy hours and repeat! Bonding moments also included craving pickles, drinking dark beer, cheers-ing together over fireball whiskey shots, explaining to a guy hitting on Erika that “no, I won’t give you my phone number” because we don’t live in America, eating ice cream and joking about all the clothes my Dominican tailor didn’t make me (because unlike those from Guinea, Senegal, Cameroon and Ugando, I don’t have a tailor). For a full blow by blow of the events, check out Keith’s latest entry documenting the whole shebang.
And for as much planning, preparation and excitement went into about the Blog It Home tour, it was suddenly over. Fortunately, I ended up staying an extra five days to hang out with the girls and my momma. Highlights from that portion of the trip included a tour of the West Wing thanks to a Peace Corps connection, seeing the First Lady dresses in the Museum of American History, laying my eyes on the Hope Diamond in the Museum of Natural History, getting a fancy haircut, snuggling with my momma and drinking iced cofeeeeeeee. But de una vez, that adventure, too, was over. It was only in coming back after a whirlwind ten days that I was able to reflect on my time in DC. Here's what I came up with:
1) As much as I’ve adapted well to DR culture, I will always be American.
I went to DC thinking I would bring my super outgoing loud personality I’ve accentuated here in the Peace Corps, but I just couldn’t. Because in America, it is rude to wag your finger at someone to say no, you can’t just command someone to sit, eat or go without adding modifiers like “please or would you care to," you can’t just walk into a restaurant and scream “owner, owner” like you can in the DR. You can’t cross the street in the middle of a busy highway and you certainly can’t litter. You can talk to people on the subway but you can't greet the whole metro car enthusiastically when you step in or say "God bless all of you." You must also give people their space and avoid long bouts of eye contact if possible.
And as if I had never lived without running water, reliable electricity or a non-nutrient rich diet for the past year, I fell right back into "being American" when I landed. I exist as a different person here and there. Yes, I have become more assertive and honest here, but I can’t bring all that back with me, because it’s not cool to be firm and bossy in America. But I’m not saying all of this is necessarily bad, it just is. America rocks and our culture is "successful" for a reason. We have highly effective ways of keeping people in their places, we have rules being orderly, we do things “by the books.” And that was nice. But then I came back to a place where no one plays by the rules, cars don’t abide traffic laws, litter is everywhere, police take bribes, kids don't go to school when it rains and I felt completely overwhelmed.
I'm four days back and I am settling in again thanks to my favorite parts of this place, the compartir and hospitality that makes the DR so very special. And I realized while sharing a few crackers and soda after a neighborhood mass last night that I will continue to learn and grow and adopt these traditions into my own life, but at the end of the day I really do like religious freedom, rules, order, punctuality, treatment of women like equals, stoplights, the environment and I will never be truly aplatanada.
2) I lied about my deepest desires.
On touchdown, with the scents of burgers, beer, seafood and Starbucks looming, I realized that more than spinach and kale, what I really wanted was a burger, sweet potato fries, nachos, crabcakes and cronuts. I guess I’ll have to save my kale and spinach detox for December.
3) Everyone has different problems.
My real mom questioned me a while back if I was going to come back to America and turn up my nose at “American problems” which I believe she meant to be things like “shit, I didn’t order the iPhone 6 in time, my pumpkin spice latté has too much milk, my shower is too hot, eugh my pilates class was cancelled because the teacher is sick” which were in fact all things I overhead in DC. But here’s the thing, those are people’s real problems right here right now. People in the DR have complaints that are just as "trivial." The difference is that people’s realities here don’t include iPhones or Starbucks, but I’m sure if they did, we’d be complaining about the same stuff.
Here I overhear ridiculous complaints too, like “the sun is too hot I’m not going to that meeting, my license photo looks bad, the chicken lady was out of chicken feet today, my neighbor didn’t give me her leftover cow intestines for the stew, what a bitch.” I can’t pass judgment on your problems any less than you can on mine. So while yes, I caught myself laughing under my breath when someone lamented their cancelled pilates class, I realized that humans everywhere complain be they wealthy, without a peso to their name, college educated, illiterate, American or Dominican. I shouldn’t expect someone who doesn’t live in my condition to be mindful of chicken feet or not having bathing water. The world is a massive place and we can’t possible empathize with everyone. I’m just as guilty as my neighbor in Manzanillo and my best friend in DC is of complaining about life's "trivial" things. Instead of passing judgement, I'm going to make more of an effort to see where problems I can fix lie and help there. I can't fix your Starbucks latté or give you chicken feet but I can help teach sex-ed in a country rife with underage pregnancy, help doñas cook nutritious meals and make a stove for cooking that cow intestine stew.
Now I'm taking time to settle back in after a perfect ten days in the motherland. As anxious as I was to come back, it all got so much easier when I stepped off the bus and swarms of neighborhood kids ran at me with open arms, everyone asked about my family and people were so excited to see me. And I’m still busy with my stoves project, Escojo Mi Vida, Hogares Saludables and implementing an Emergency Medical System in conjunction with an NGO from NYC and the local hospital. Oh, and another best friend comes to visit in two weeks. So yes, busy it is! Forward ho! And to check out my latest post with lots more info about Blog It Home, click up!
Love from my island,
Bea
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