The one about travel and leisure

Monday morning I got an article in my inbox sent lovingly by my mother, sent to her by someone who knew I live in Panama. I like that, finding common connections, thanks Mom and thanks person who sent this to her while thinking of me. In the article, published in “Travel + Leisure: Best Places to Travel in 2016,” Here’s what it says:

“The Isthmus of Panama is home to some of the purest natural beauty in Latin America: dense tropical rain forests, wide savannas, coral reefs bursting with aquatic life, and delightfully deserted beaches. The latest idyllic spot to emerge on travelers’ lists is Bocas del Toro, an archipelago made up of nine islands and hundreds of cays and islets. In the country’s northeastern corner—a one-hour flight from either Panama City or San José, Costa Rica—it’s a sanctuary where the main mode of transportation is a wooden motorboat, dolphins swim through crystalline waters, and dockside restaurants serve the local fishermen’s catch of the day. Its remoteness and simplicity have made it a favorite among backpackers, surfers, and adventurers. Bocas Town, the archipelago’s main village, is equal parts rickety and charming, with tin-roofed wooden houses converted into colorful boutiques, guesthouses, and restaurants—head to Ultimo Refugio for the best food in town, an open-air sport famous for its lobster risotto and sesame-crusted tuna. And while Bocas isn’t losing its ruggedness anytime soon, a new hotel is likely to redefine tourism there. Sarani Resort, scheduled to open this summer, will bring unprecedented style to the area. The 35 hardwood bungalows, on 75 acres, were designed with the quiet mood of a Balinese resort in mind. There will be an infinity pool, an outdoor bar crafted from old wooden boats, and a restaurant serving organic Caribbean food. “Bocas evokes this sense of calm, Peter Debs, who is overseeing the development, says. “You’re surrounded by untouched mangrove islets, you hear the slapping of the waves, and see people catching lobsters from hand-carved canoes. I’m glad it hasn’t become a Cancún. Here it’s all about the salt water and the forest.” —Paola Singer

Yes, this is where I live and yes, it is as amazing as it sounds. But it’s not the travel writing, romanticized view of paradise that you’re imagining from reading Paola’s words. Just from reading this, I myself want to hop on a plane and go in search of this whimsically magical set of glorious islets that invokes a nostalgically beautiful emotion in me. I’d book a ticket to that place. That’s some damn good travel writing. But that’s not what this Bocas del Toro is.

There are struggles here. People don’t necessarily like that they have to lobster catch in a hand-dug canoe in the middle of the (often turbulent) ocean to appease the dietary wants of seafood-seeking tourists. And the article disregards the boat drivers who operate these seemingly effortless gliding “wooden motorboats” and pay an arm and a leg for the upkeep when their motors break down with a frequency you can only expect from an overused, under cared-for motor sitting in salt water lugging tourists around from island to island. But they’re not complaining, we aren’t complaining, I promise. Locals know they make money from tourists but they don’t seem to understand why people come in search of this place specifically because to them, it’s always ever been home.

Since when did we, as tourists from the developed world, decide to eat up this idea of “untouched mangrove islets” as the idea of a perfect vacation? Since when do we feel okay ignoring the fact that in our search for an escape from our overly busy and productive lives, we get to ignore the real struggles of locals who’ve called the place home for hundreds of years. Because the article seems to espouse or underscore the idea that in our search for this “untouched paradise”, it’s okay to completely negate the fact that actual people have lived here, and that they have been touching the land for thousands of years. (I recognize that this question could lead us down a rabbit hold of manifest destiny, but we all know how that goes, so in this post I’ll refrain from exploring that idea further). This is how I envision the negotiation of building a resort on Isla Pastor went:

White Man With Money and Big Ideas: Peter, you’re back! How’d the surveying trip down to Panama go?  

Peter: Well, sir, it was great! We found this island, it’s tucked enough away from the mainland so you don’t have to see the dirty port town neighbors where locals shit over the water and put trash in the ocean. But it’s close enough to the airport in Bocas Town so that locals will feel like their getting the authentic remote experience when we pick them up with a coconut drink in hand and then they still have to they take a boat 15 minutes get to our resort. It’s deceptively remote, sir, just like what you asked for (rubs chin pensively with hand while looking longingly out the window).  

WMWMABI: Great job Peter! Just make sure it evokes the idea of serenity and tranquility that white people are going ape shit for these days.

Peter: I hear you sir, my only question is: there are a few local communities right where we want to build. Does it matter if we have to knock down hundreds of local dwellings to do what we want out there? Or that we’ll be bringing in electricity to the island that hasn’t ever had it, thereby catapulting them into the 21^st century without providing education or other incentives for our existence there?

WMWMABI: No, they’ll be fine. Oh and make sure the restaurant/bar is made out of something local.

Peter: But sir, what if the only wood I can find is these canoes that they paddle around on?

WMWMABI: Well, Peter, then buy that off them - white people eat that “local” shit UP! Oh, let’s make sure we call the restaurant “organic” too.

Peter: Yes sir. Then I’ll call up Travel + Leisure so they can do a piece about it. Paola owes me one still for that time she wrote a shitty review of our Balinese Bungalows in rural Cambodia. She doesn’t even know how much money that cost us.

WMWMABI: Great idea, now back to work.

It’s happened before. It’ll happen again. Does this resort deserve a place in Bocas del Toro? Sure. But I know this island and I’m not so sure the developers thought about the locals they will be displacing, if not physically, at least in that they will bring money to the island that locals have never seen or experienced before. The community dynamics will change. Those locals who are not lucky enough to find a position on their staff on construction, in the kitchen or as cleaners will be relegated to bottom of the totem pole. I can assure you that the communities in Isla Pastor had a system before this place was build and now they will have to completely re-write that system. The local community on Isla Pastor will stratify. I’ve seen the exact same story with the Red Frog Island Resort on Bastimentos Island and a new $400/night ecolodge in the community of Loma Partida.

That said, there are many businesses here in the tourism industry that do hire and treat locals fairly, providing a living wage and creating a solid way of life for so many people here. Locals ride their bikes on “rugged” dirt roads to make it to work, spend the day at these pristine resorts waiting on tourists who wash their hands in the filtered rainwater taps and leave their shift in a hotel with hot water and wifi to go home to a wooden shack without electricity or potable water. And yet the words “rugged, pristine, hand-dug, organic” are somehow appealing and palpable to travelers. Those words come on the backs of locals who have had their lives uprooted for our “serenity.” Their struggle is our way to relax. But those locals who aren’t on the inside of the tourism industry really struggle. They watch their families separate because one child gets a job on the main island and another has to bake bread in their community to sell for twenty-five cents a bun. They have no electricity because no one has decided that their community is “good enough” to develop. They see communities across the bay reaping the benefits of benevolent enough tourists, but they can’t break in.

I’m not saying it isn’t wonderful place to visit or that we should give up our days of rest and relaxation. What I am saying, however, is that in our exploration of “rest and relaxation” we’ve come to prioritize places where we don’t have to think about the lives of locals we interact (or don’t) with. We can enjoy our “outdoor bar crafted from old wooden boats and a restaurant serving organic Caribbean food” without truly appreciating why we needed to leave where we came from. I hope we can come to see those “tin-roofed wooden houses converted into colorful boutiques, guesthouses, and restaurants” as a place where real people’s blood, sweat and tears have gone in to make your vacation world keep spinning. The charm of this place comes from the unique people you find in those lobster boats, the drivers of the wooden hand-carved boats, the owners of these restaurants. The charm of this place doesn’t come from a resort that has a “Bali style infinity pool” (though, that sure does sound amazing!), yet rather from the people that makes this place unique. The people we should honor as a resource and never a burden.

Nowhere is just as perfect as it seems in Travel + Leisure, but Bocas sure comes close.

The one about falling in love with Panama

I was talking to my regional leader/bestie Zoe the other day and she was reflecting on her service (she's in her third year too) and how she realized she is really good at Peace Corps in the same way that other people are really good at economic consulting or being a nurse. I agree - she is amazing at it. But I asked her why it is that every Peace Corps Volunteer here seems to be "good at Peace Corps" and love Panama and want to stay forever and ever? It's not the case with everyone, but this is definitely not something pervasively felt by PCVs in the Dominican Republic even though most of us loved the country and our service there. 

Five months in, I’m starting to get what it is about Panama. It’s beautiful, it’s relatively small and it’s easy to live here (not physically easy – PCVs have some insane circumstances that they live in). What I mean is that people are nice, not offensive, supportive (especially other PCVs) and the culture is peaceful. I don’t feel that I get nearly half as many catcalls as I did in the DR. Things are slightly more regulated but only enough so that it feels understandably unorganized versus chaotically confusing. People have to wear helmets on motorcycles, seat belts in cars, and life jackets on boats. You cannot drink in the streets much less drink with one hand on the steering wheel and another gripping a 40oz beer like you can in the DR. Panama is regulated, but adventurous enough to feel challenging and exciting. I understand the appeal in a way that I couldn’t have before. I no longer feel like I’m trying to hold on to my service in the DR, I’m finally accepting that this is different and let the current take me. I get it now: the culture of Panama, the culture of Peace Corps Panama and the spirit of the volunteers that leads a good many of them to extend for a third year, or victory lap, as I’ve come to call it. People who, like me, never really gave much thought to Panama before Peace Corps and have come to love the place we now call home. If only everyone could be so lucky!

That said, at first, I wondered to myself, why doesn’t this feel exactly how I want it to feel? Why am I thinking about the DR so much and making comparisons between my experiences? Why do I ache for the USA even though I can find almost everything I need on my tiny island? Why don’t I love it? Just like falling in love, the thought of getting to that point of integration in my community again was exhausting. Do you even know how much time I had to spend and coffee I had to drink on the porches of community members over two years to be accepted? And you want me to try and replicate that again, what are you crazy!?

Eeeeeeeerch back it up, Bronwen. Just like my first few months in site in Manzanillo, when I didn’t know who to ask for help and how to connect the dots between key community members I felt uncomfortable. I wasn’t yet adjusted to life without reliable electricity, internet, water, etc. It took time. And when I decided to do this whole living abroad thing again, I didn’t give my human-ness the credit it deserved. Of course I wasn’t going to just fall into step with my job and the culture and create a social life after one week or one month. But I'm happy to report that I’ve fallen in love with a new place all over again!

My role is to navigate between what I consider four distinct communities: 1) Panamanians/locals on the main island 2) Ngobe indigenous culture on the peninsula where we work, 3) the Floating Doctors volunteer/staff, and 4) Peace Corps Volunteers. It’s a complex dance to learn but I finally feel settled amongst them all. This week, I spent four days on the Kusapin Peninsula teaching our Community Health Worker course in Ensenada and was given a Ngobe name, a right of passage for any Panama PCV. A wonderful woman, Carmen, and I spent time together and she said, "We’re going to call you “Buledi” from now on because that was my mother’s name and she was happy just like you." You’re right Carmen, I am happy. I am happy to be a part of this work and I feel like I’ve really found my place in this country. It’s humbling to remember that we have our struggles and that we can overcome them. Humans are good at losing, recreating, reinventing and adapting.

Con mucho amor, 

Buledi

The one about finding your "specials"

This post was written by Katie and I for the Peace Corps Panama tri-annual magazine “La Vaina” inspired by the theme “This I Believe....”

“You are the books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you meet, the dreams you have, the conversations you engage in. You are what you take from these. You are the sound of the ocean, the breath of fresh air, the brightest light and the darkest corner. You are a collective of every experience you have had in your life. So drown yourself in a sea of knowledge and existence. Let the words run through your veins and let the colours fill your mind until there’s nothing left to do but explode.” – Jac Vanek.

We’d take this quote one step further to include people, real life humanoids who affect the way you see and experience the world. As our pal, good ol’ Jac Vanek mentions, it’s what you learn from and take from your surroundings that truly influence your being. There are people who you engage with that influence your way of thinking and experiencing. But then there are those people who completely rewrite the way you live. Those are called the “specials.”  If you’re lucky enough to find a special in your life, hold on tight because they’ll teach you a million things. 

Bea, here is what you’ve taught me:

1. How not to freak out so much when lighting a gas stove.
2. That making a habit of sweeping the floor actually makes the house feel cleaner.
3. When you don’t like what someone is doing, sometimes the best thing to do is to be honest and actually tell them that (sass optional).
4. If your goal is to be the President of America, then you should tell people your goal is to be the President of America.
5. You can tell someone that you “hate” a piece of their clothing that you have never even seen, and it doesn’t mean that you love them any less.
6. If you like something about somebody, tell them to their face (it makes them feel really good and they will remember it when they are feeling down).
7. Even though a flag that you don’t want is half price, don’t buy it...because it’s a flag you don’t want.
8. If you can win the race, do it, because it’s called a “race,” not “a share circle.”
9. Being flexible, open-minded, and curious can co-exist with having strong opinions and expressing them without worrying about what others think.
10. Sometimes it’s better to stop talking and just say, “See you later freakazoid!”

Katie, this what I have learned from you:

1. The best way to play board games is in teams, especially when one half of the team takes Trivial Pursuit cards from the 1990s to bed and studies them.
2. Intellectually superior human beings listen to podcasts morning, afternoon and night. Music is for squares...except if it’s a parodied song played on the ukulele.
3. Ten minutes of volleyball a day does human good.
4. A good sense of humor, coupled with living by the phrase “Yes, and...” is the best way to become a improv specialist and better person.
5. If someone else does the cooking, you should always do the cleaning.
6. When someone says something really funny and you feel a huge belly laugh brewing, ride that wave, baby, ride it all the way!
7. Even though you may fully believe that paper books are morally superior and the only way to truly preserve the beauty of literature, it doesn’t make you a hypocrite when you buy a Kindle. 
8. If someone comments on a ten-year-old picture of you and says, “Wow, you’re wearing the same outfit!” it’s probably time to go shopping.
9. You can know everything about someone and still have stuff to talk about everyday.
10. Having a curious and analytical mind coupled with an uncanny ability to speak without ever taking a breath can lead to some of the most powerful and impactful conversations you’ll ever have with a friend who will eventually become your life mate. 

Specials are what make life great. They are the people who you can never get enough of, who you will always want close, whose glance you exchange whether or not they are physically present. You can meet them at camp, at track practice, on study abroad, while working at the deli, and in Peace Corps. Specials transcend age, class, and fashion sense. Wherever you happen to meet them, you’ll know quickly that they are a special. You start figuring out which one of you is Ernie and which one is Bert, you stop having to say "my sister" and can just say "Jenny" when telling a story. You will start wondering what they will look like at 40, 60, or 80 because you know you will still be looking at them in one way or another. We believe in the power of finding your specials.

The one about my community's emergency medical system

This story is a throwback to my service in the Dominican Republic, but on the anniversary of our very first week of providing emergency medical care with the Paramedic team in Manzanillo, I thought it fitting to document our process in the annals of history. Enjoy!

One sunny afternoon, I was sitting with my neighbors drinking coffee in our plastic chairs trying to catch a breeze. I had been in site for nearly six months and felt that I had a pretty good grasp on the dynamics of the place. The hospital administrator rolled up to our growing street gathering and took his place in the low-back plastic chair on the corner. “Bea,” he said to me, “I need a favor. We need an ambulance for the hospital, can you get us one?”

Fast forward to nearly two years later, and I never did get that hospital administrator his ambulance, but what we did do together as a community was create an emergency medical system staffed by local first responders who use a basic mobile phone software to provide pre-hospital care to emergencies in my site of Manzanillo in the northwest corner of the Dominican Republic. But let’s back up!

After that fateful conversation I had that afternoon with the hospital administrator, fondly known as Papito, I started investigating the idea of an ambulance donation. I did a Google search and sent a mass email to friends and family back home. I also sent many emails to organizations I read about online and one finally took the bait! Little did I know, this connection would turn into a full-blown emergency response system project (and subsequently sour me at the idea of ambulance donations as legitimate forms of aid). I heard back from Trek Medics International, an organization dedicated to “improving emergency medical care anywhere.” And so I began a series of intense conversations with the Executive Director, Jason, who pushed me for more specific answers to my “can you donate an ambulance” question. As it turned out, when I dug a little deeper within my community, I teased out from the hospital administrator that what we really needed was a collaborative solution to the actual problem of inadequate pre-hospital care and a lack of reliable inter-facility transfer capacity.

So, I’d found the jackpot organization that could help me tackle this – now what? After a series of conversations between community members, we unanimously agreed to invite Trek Medics to send a team down to investigate the possibility of starting a pilot program. One thing led to another and the big boss, Jason, decided that Manzanillo was the perfect place to launch their newly developed Beacon technology (essentially a way to crowd-source transportation and medical attention, like emergency Uber). Working under the supervision of the local fire department, we gathered recruits who had to interview, study, train, and perform simulations for several weeks before we allowed them to “graduate” as community first responders. Simultaneously, I was training local dispatchers and working with the fire chief, Ramoncito, to give the fire station a central role in the new service as dispatchers of local emergencies.

The team of responders (fondly referring to themselves as “paramedicos”) also had to prove themselves as reliable partners with real skin in the game. For example, they initially offered to help the local civil defense during Holy Week and stationed themselves for service at the beach when the holiday crowds flocked to Manzanillo’s beaches. There they encountered a number of patients with problems ranging from wounds to dehydration and intoxication. While no serious patients were treated (thankfully), their simple presence on scene proved to be a small, but critical first step in their growth: it showed the community that the response team was more than just a good idea, it built their confianza (trust) in our new service exponentially.

Then, we had to start giving our responders bigger tests so that we knew we could safely grow. This included: handling simultaneous emergencies; ensuring that a sufficient number of available first responders were distributed equally as the coverage area expanded; training our team members as instructors in order to train neighboring communities, introducing a new version of the Beacon software funded by Google, and learning to use newly minted motorcycle ambulances the organization donated to our local fire station. And on and on it went...one good idea snowballing into a thousand more - all community-driven to make a well-oiled emergency medical system.

There is still so much to do, but for something that started as a simple conversation over much-too-sugary coffee, it is now the primary method for emergency transport in my rural community. Today, six months from the date I finished my service in the Dominican Republic and have moved on to a similar Peace Corps Response position in Panama, we still have a fully functioning emergency medical service in Manzanillo and have expanded (with help from USAID and other generous organizations) to the entire province. Locals are the crux of the organization and run the entire operation. This was a project that never would have functioned without a vested community interest (especially as I knew nothing about first aid myself before it started!). Key community members were part of every decision and the driving force excited about this organizations entry into Manzanillo. After initial contact with Trek Medics, I became a critical community organizer, but I was never the driving force.  As Jason reminded me various times throughout the process, “We can’t want it more than they do. They have to be a part of every step.” A very valuable life lesson, indeed, especially in the realm of international development.

The one about clinics

I suppose I haven’t really written much about the actual work that Floating Doctors does when we are on clinics! Usually, I just text people and say, “I’m headed on a multi-day clinic, be back Thursday just in case you start to worry and think I got abducted by aliens.” These multi-day clinics happen twice a month in far-off communities sans cell service, electricity and running water. They are usually where Peace Corps Volunteers live and/or we have a great community contact who leads the planning operations. On Monday morning, all packed and ready with thousands of dollars worth of medicines, equipment, vitamins, and soap, our medical team climbed aboard a huge dugout canoe and sailed three long hours away from our base of operations to a small beach village called Playa Verde. And once we touched down, there begins the three-day roving medical clinic for Ngobe populations.

Last week, over our three-day clinic, we saw almost 250 patients from Playa Verde and the surrounding communities. We see things ranging from your average child with worms, babies with scabies and a woman with heart palpitations who we do an EKG on. Then there’s the gamut of pregnant ladies, from the 9-month pregnant woman with her baby in the breached position (not head first) to the 17-year old who swears she didn’t know she was pregnant (Ngobe version of  the MTV show “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant”). Doctors from all over the world (England, Austria, Denmark, France, Nashville, Canada, Jacksonville) come to provide medical care in these communities for weeks at a time. It’s a pretty fascinating operation we run, full of insanely smart and intense people who all love to teach. So much so that I myself now know how to find the four requirements to bill an ultrasound to insurance in the US: 1) head position, 2) placenta placement 3) fluids in placenta and 4) heartbeat. I’ve learned how to tell when a woman is ovulating, what scabies looks like, how to give a regime to a diabetes patient, the correct medicine to correct high blood pressure, how to take blood sugar levels, measure blood pressure, search for cavities, pull teeth and how to say all this stuff in Spanish. It’s a wide world of medical knowledge out there and I’m soaking it all right up, practically could be a doctor myself!

I’ve been to four multi-day clinics and they are usually an exciting affair. On one, we have to hike four hours up a hill to the middle of nowhere and a community of thirty houses, yet we see over two-hundred patients from the surrounding communities. Another is on the beach overlooking beautiful pristine water and another at the mouth of a river pouring into the ocean. We sleep in hammocks under raised wooden houses and eat rice and beans for three days straight. We poop in latrines that would make my mother gag and bathe in the ocean. I love it. I’ve seen so many wonderful places that many a tourist could only dream of!

I think the Floating Doctors do great work, we bring medical care where there is none, literally. If they have an emergency, good luck. If you’re giving birth, no pain medications and it’s on a wooden floor. Broken foot? Keep going to work. Breached pregnancy? Hope the midwife can turn it around. It’s amazing the amount of medical attention these Ngobes can give with the minimal (non-existent) resources they have. That said, what limited resources we, too, can bring is paramount to their increasing health outcomes. That paired with the Health Promoter Practitioner Course that we are starting to implement (ie. my entire reason for being here!) is going to be critical in these areas. Health care and education is so important I don’t understand why it’s still so hard to access for so many places! Makes me want to be in the global health field forever watching this stuff...but if I did that, who’d run for president in 2036?

The one about origami boxes

As many of you know by now – my partner in crime, my mind-reader, my life mate Katie, just finished her Peace Corps Response service. She signed up for the first four months of this project as a type of sabbatical from her real job and life in Baltimore and ya está, it’s over just like that! If I tried to write what she has come to mean to me, you’d probably give up reading at page 94. Yes, she’s that awesome. But instead of gushing about her superhuman skills, I’ll let her write this post to digest and debrief her own experience instead. It’s a wonderful tribute to the powers of Peace Corps. Enjoy!

When I was in the Peace Corps in Honduras, I used to make a lot of origami boxes. I mean, a LOT of origami boxes. In the old days of Peace Corps ("the old days in Peace Corps" being a club of which I now realize I am a part), volunteers used to get a Newsweek magazine every month, just so we wouldn't totally lose touch with what was happening outside of our Peace Corps towns and countries (I actually have a friend who learned that George W. Bush was the president six months after being elected by receiving a Newsweek via airmail dropped at her site in Vanuatu). After reading the Newsweeks, I would remove the cover and pin it on what became known as my "Newsweek wall", and then use the rest of the magazine to make origami boxes. Some people might tell you that I occasionally used it for toilet paper and that the reason for this was not because toilet paper was hard to come by, but because I was too lazy to walk to the store and buy it, and those people would be right on both accounts.

It all started because the Peace Corps office in Honduras had this book called It's a Bird! It's a Plane! No...It Is a Piece of Paper Intricately Folded Over and Over Again To Make a Shape: Origami!  I really took the book because I never wanted to stop reading the title, but it ended up teaching me to do exactly what the cover promised. The origami box is kind of a complicated little design at first, but once you get the hang of it and get into the rhythm, you can make tons of them...which I did. I had several strings of Christmas lights and a box put on each bulb. They strung pretty much every wall and there were still plenty left over taking up a couple of corners in my house. It was a fun hobby and very relaxing - I would make boxes while listening to a podcast I had downloaded or watching one of the several DVDs I had for the hundredth time.

I haven't made an origami box since living in Honduras. In fact, I tried to teach someone how to do it a few years ago and could not remember the folds. Since then, every year around Christmas, I've tried to remember how to make these boxes that serve as great tree ornaments and I inevitably mess up some part. It just doesn't work! I know I could have looked up how to do it on the internet, but it felt wrong...like admitting that I forgot how to tie my shoes or something. 

As you can imagine, making origami boxes isn't usually what I talk about when people ask me about Peace Corps. I went into Peace Corps Honduras with an idea of what I hoped to get out of the experience. I knew that I ultimately wanted to work with the Latino community back in the states (read: Baltimore) and hoped to gain pertinent experience working with a Central American population. I was hoping to use and improve upon my Spanish, and was looking forward to learning how to live with less (more "off the grid" I guess). I definitely accomplished all of those things. I still work with the Latino community in Baltimore (many Hondurans among them) and my time was incredibly informative and continues to be helpful nearly ten years later. I improved my Spanish, especially when it came to environmental vocabulary and anything involving how to prevent, treat, or complain about Dengue fever. I know how much bleach you can add to water so that it stays in the "safe zone", meaning that it is “safe enough” and tastes just not enough like a swimming pool to drink. Those things don't even touch on the many Hondurans and fellow Peace Corps Volunteers that I will forever consider my family. And all of that is wonderful. However, what I really learned in Peace Corps, my biggest takeaways, are the hardest (if not downright impossible) ideas to articulate. 

A fellow RPCV once told me that Peace Corps was one of those very few times in life where your job (your purpose really) is to just be fully present. It is, for many, the only time in our lives where we are afforded this opportunity. This past October, almost ten years to the day that I landed in Honduras, I signed up for that crazy ride all over again and boarded a plane that would take me to Panama to begin a three-month service as a Peace Corps Response Volunteer. I signed up for Peace Corps Response Panama thinking that it would be really great to take several months during Baltimore's winter (when things at my job in the park are slower anyway) to gain more experience in the health care field, brush up on my Spanish, and get to know yet another Central American community.

Our first month in Panama was fast-paced and exciting. We traveled by boat to some of the most beautiful, yet some of the most under resourced places I've ever been to deliver medical care to indigenous Ngabe communities. It was challenging, adventurous, fun, and, at times, stressful. I'd say that I accomplished all of those things I had originally thought I wanted to accomplish in coming to Panama. I maybe spoke more English than I thought I would, but when you live with a stranger (read: Bronwen) who converts to your best friend who then converts to the voice inside your head (see a future blog post addressing Peace Corps Life Mate Separation Depression), you generally speak more English than you thought (even though we tried to speak only in Spanish on Tuesdays and Thursdays).

After the clinic season ended and the staff had gone home for the holidays, Bronwen and I found our Tiny House, made it our own, and developed a little more of a routine. Things slowed down a bit. People on Isla Colon would call it “Bocas Time” or maybe “Island Time.” I have called it “Honduran Time” or “Hora Hondureña” and my parents or sister (while waiting for me to meet them so that we can all drive to my aunt's house together for Thanksgiving) would call it “Peace Corps Time.”

Bronwen: Looks good so far, but can you wrap it up? It's getting long.

Me: Oh, yeah. I know, I'm rambling. I wrote the first part in Panama and now you’re making me write the second part in Baltimore.

Bronwen: Yeah, I feel like I can tell. Also, don't be afraid to be funny. Ya know?

Me:...

Bronwen: I mean the first part is kind of funny and then I think it's just nostalgic...ya know...

Me:...

Bronwen: You know what I-

Me: I'M SAD, OKAY?! I MISS YOU! It's hard writing a comedy piece in February from Baltimore when it is 14 degrees out!

Bronwen: Woah. Okay, enough with the histrionics.

Me: If I have to have one more conversation with a stranger about why I look so tan, I am going to lose it!

Bronwen: Hey, it's alright. Whatever you write is fine, okay?

Me: Yeah, thanks.

Bronwen: Ok, so yeah. Just wrap it up and make it a little funnier, though. Ya know?

One evening, Bronwen was making dinner (I like to think I would have, but she had more of a vision for it and I don't actually know how to make peanut curry even though I offer to sometimes, but she is just quicker in getting the sand off of her to get into the house after our routine evening beach walk, so naturally, she was just ready to make dinner before I was and I, obviously, would do the dishes...) and I was sitting at our kitchen/sewing/work/everything table when I felt a familiar urge...it was like my hands wanted to do something. I went to the bookshelf and picked up a Scientific American I had brought with me. I ripped out a page. I grabbed the scissors (oh right! it has to be a square. Why all of these years did I not remember that it has to be a square?), and watched my hands start to fold. The one fold goes across, and then this one goes opposite (right! Its opposite), then you fold again and tuck and tuck and fold and tuck and then there is that hole in the top and blow and...voilá....an origami box!

Coming back to Baltimore after several months away, people have been asking me how Panama was and if it met my expectations. The truth is, I don't really know how to answer them. Just like the first time, I don't think I really could have imagined what I would take away from the experience and I am still just processing the whole thing. I guess we Returned Peace Corps Volunteers seem to do that our whole lives, always figuring out where our experiences abroad fit into our new lives. All I know is that I needed it, I'm so glad that I did it, and I will most likely need it again. I think Peace Corps and experiences like it, in the end, are about being present. And I think, if I can remember how, I am going to try and make more origami boxes in Baltimore.

The one about podcasting

Hello all of you near and far who have asked for my personal Podcast Training Plan. I'm beyond flattered that you noticed how podcast fit I've become and would like to offer my services to those of you who are anxious to start your own regime. 

DISCLAIMER: I am offering a money-back guarantee if you don't see a dramatic improvement in your general knowledge of current events and politics, an increase in the amount useless trivia you can use as conversation starters and an uptick in your overall well-being after 30 days. Do it, get podcast fit, you won't regret it - there is so much out there to share and gobble up! 

WARNING: This sport is not for the faint of heart - it takes commitment, courage and energy to become a Master Podcaster but once you self-identify as a burgeoning podcaster, you will have a reason to get up in the morning and a goal to work towards each and every day. You will find that cleaning your house and doing the dishes actually becomes fun and you will have so many smart things to say to people who don't podcast and so many interesting conversations to have with people who do! 

Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, my humble podcasting suggestions, vetted and approved by yours truly: 

Level 1 Podcast Training Plan: The gateway to podcasting

If you already listen to one/some/all of these podcasts, you are well on your way to becoming an Advanced Podcaster! Add these to your repertoire for an easy-to-relate-to conversation with anyone else who also podcasts. By following this training plan, you'll have your bases covered so you don't look like a weakling amongst the big-wigs. 

1) Serial hosted by Sarah Koenig - Basically, it's everyone's gateway podcast. If you don't like Serial, you aren't cut out for podcasting, so back out now. But since you are all the type of people who will like podcasting, you can one-up any other budding podcaster by downloading Slate Serial Spoiler Specials to get a succinct analysis and assessment of Serial episode. This podcast always enhances my viewpoint and attitude about Serial and gives me double the ammo to use in analysis with my podcast teammates. New Spoiler episodes come out on Friday after Serial's Thursday release. 

2) Global News by the BBC World Service - high quality, 30-minute way to get news stories from around the globe in the morning and night. OR for a quickie 5-minute news update every hour on the hour, NPR Hourly News Summary does the trick! 

3) 99% Invisible is a top ten favorite podcast by host Roman Mars broadcasting from beautiful downtown historic Oakland. This is a weekly exploration of the process and power of design and architecture. Favorite episodes include: The Fresno Drop, Best Enjoyed By, Fountain Drinks, and Worst Smell in the World. 

4) Hidden Brain - A podcast about unseen patterns in society. Episode 19: Dating and Mating is a fascinating review of marriage and attraction proving through many economists' theories that the more you pay for a ring and the wedding, the more likely a couple is to break up and other brilliant economic theories of marriage/coupling. Great hosts take you through short 20-ish minute episodes perfect for a morning podcast burst. Other favorite episodes include: Episode 1: Switchtracking and Episode 8: Back Up Plans.

5) This American Life - A classic go-to favorite! Really great stories told every week about specific topics. This podcast will form the perfect foundation you need for advancing in your podcast training as it's the best-done story telling format out there. My favorite episodes include: #578: I Thought I Knew You, #214: Family Physics and #577: Something Only I Can See. For supplemental training, try these podcasts with a similar format: Snap Judgement and the Ted Radio Hour. 

6) Now, I'm gonna shake it up a bit here. Instead of the typical interview/story telling format, try adding some conversation-style podcasts into your regime. To start, I suggest Slate Political Gabfest, the Slate Culture Gabfest and The Weeds by Vox. All of these well-done podcasts make you feel like got invited to a smart person get-together and are privileged enough to be privy to their fascinating conversations about politics and culture. You can sit back, relax, and enjoy their rants, raves, and analyzing. Tune in and you'll absorb smart tidbits to use on game day when you get into a real-life political/pop-culture conversation of your own. 

7) My new favorite podcast is HuffPo Love + Sex. Noah and Carina are wonderful hosts exploring diverse topics of sexuality and love. It's been a transformative sexual education for me and even though I myself am a sex educator, I've learned the birds and the bees from this dynamic duo. Do it, Love+Sex is where it's at. 

Level 2 Podcast Training Plan: To master the art of podcasting

Katie taught me well, both in theory and in observation, that moving from an Advanced Podcaster to a Master Podcaster takes time, commitment, and motivation. You have to want to listen to a podcast while running, while eating, while cutting your toenails, while also having a conversation with your roommate about another podcast. Podcasts come out with so many new episodes each week that you run the risk of falling very far behind in your training plan if you aren't prepared to put the time in to get the results you seek. Times you should podcast if you want to make it to the big leagues: while waking up in the morning before you drink your first sip of coffee, while cleaning your house, doing the dishes or folding clothes, while running, taking afternoon walks, going to the grocery store, driving, doing mindless work like formatting/editing. When you find yourself wanting to go to bed so you can wake up an podcast, you'll know you've broken through to the MLP (Major League Podcasting). Here are my suggestions to get you to the top: 

1) The Axe Files by David Axelrod - Currently the founder/director of the Chicago Institute of Politics and once the Chief Strategist for the Obama campaign, interviews fascinating political figures who shed light on politics in fascinating ways. Political history and current events are brought to you through stories of experts retelling their journeys to the top. Just brilliant! 

2) The Economist Radio - A quick (10-15 minute) podcast offering a quick synopsis of the key articles and news stories from the Economist magazine. Prepare to feel smarter by osmosis of the information in this podcast. A similarly wonderful brain busting podcast is Planet Money. 

3) The World Next Week by CFR or Financial Times Big Read hosted by super smart fellows from the Council on Foreign Relations who sit down to analyze and predict world events for the upcoming week. Makes me feel prepared for the crazy that is the world! 

4) And then there are podcasts for working out! For workout/meditation/yoga - try Yoga Download for 20-30 minute yoga flows (this was my saving grace in the Dominican Republic and PS they offer a free subscription for Peace Corps Volunteers). For longer yoga flows, download Power Yoga with Dave Farmar who has various 1.5 hour Vinyasa flow. And for guided meditations, Meditation Oasis is a great start. To become an inspired and enlightened runner, download Run to the Top! 

5) Death, Sex and Money with Anna Sale is a podcast about the big questions and hard choices that are often left out of polite conversation. Absolute must-listen: Living Alone, One Year Later. Sometimes tough to get into, but once you decide you like the host and the premise of random life and death topics, you'll be hooked! 

6) The New Yorker Fiction - A monthly reading and conversation of works by famous authors reading other famous authors. Favorites include: Edwidge Danticat reads Jamaica Kincaid and Thomas McGuane reads James Salter.

Level 3 Podcast Training Plan: For the burgeoning Spanish speakers

Spanish language podcasts are fabulous way to listen to stories and news in Spanish. They require more concentration (for obvious reasons) but are a wonderful way to learn news/facts while simultaneously practicing Spanish comprehension. 

1) To listen to the news in Spanish, try Buenos Días America by the VOA or Democracy Now! en Español (which is a bit easier because they start every news story with the headline in English and this helps to orient yourself to the story coming up in case you get lost in the Spanish). 

2) Radio Ambulante - A radio program in Spanish chronicling stories all over Latin America. Favorite episodes include: El corresponsal, Confesión, Los huérfanos, Mudanzas and El coyote. 

3) Latino USA - While this is actually in English, it takes you on journeys of news and culture from a Latino perspective with a great host and amazing producers finding diverse stories from latinos around the globe. 

4) Nómadas by RNE - This podcast takes you on a journey to discover new cities and countries through explorer hosts finding special corners of the world! It's like a vibrant virtual tour of places you can only dream of someday visiting. A sensory explosion! 

Level 4 Podcast Training Plan: Training hacks to increase stamina
Ok ok, so you've decided what you like and what you don't like. You know your ideal format, content area, style of host, average time length of a perfect podcast. You've found your grove, you know your style...congratulations. You have made it farther than the average podcaster! There is now so much out there to soak up, but there aren't enough hours in the day. Fear not, I have the answer for you. Now, you must perfect your technique.

1) Listen to your podcasts on 1.5x speed. Podcasts especially made to 1.5x include Presidential by The Washington Post which is a fascinating exploration of our 44 presidents. However, sometimes it's slow-going but always intriguing content. Which is why the 1.5x is necessary. Other 1.5x candidates include How to Be Amazing with Michael Ian Black (interviews with interesting famous people) follow these interviews of celebrities and newsmakers as they discuss what the what. Reason for 1.5x is that the material comes out quick so you'll need extra time to listen to them all! Other podcasts suggested for 1.5x include: The Diane Rehm Show (for current events, books, politics and a kaleidoscope of everything), and On Being with Krista Tippet (interviews with religious figures and/or people speaking on religion). 

2) For a podcast about podcasts, listen to The Big Listen and/or Sampler by Gimlet Media to get a recap of the weeks best podcasts and segments. Helps expand your podcast horizons and give you a glimpse into new podcasts you could start!

3) Nerd out. Get your fix of data shows with Whats the Point by FiveThirtyEight and FiveThirtyEight Elections. You'll be a pollster in no time. Dry material at times, but mega important and expressed in interesting ways. Other nerd-alerts include: Trumpcast by Slate (who is Donald Trump, anyway?), Lexicon Valley by Panoply (the history of words), Reply All (stories of the internet), Slate's Audio Book Club (read along with Emily Bazelon and her crew!) and Amicus with Dahlia Lithwick (about the Supreme Court with actual audio from SCOTUS).

But Bea, you say to me, I have the opposite problem - what happens when I "stall out" aka when my favorite Podcasts don't have enough new episodes and I've already gone back through all of the archives since 2011. Well - it's time to expand your horizons, try something new, gain new knowledge and new information. I have vetted many a Podcast and understand different tastes in different people so below are shows that I appreciate, but do not follow. I know that I am podcaster who appreciates news value, learning information and a succinct and easy to follow interview format. However, I have friends who are conversation style lovers, interested in pop-culture but less invested in the news aspect to a podcast. That's fine, agree to be different. But here's a few they suggest!

1) Moth Radio Hour and Mortified Podcast for a compilation of stories and dramatic readings. Moth is more serious while Mortified is a bunch of adults reading their younger years diaries/journals.

2) Call Your Girlfriend and Millennials for your quick taste of sassy social commentary. Bunch of millennials sitting around gabbing about millennial things. Not my style, but I see the appeal.

A very special thank you to Zoe and David, Hana, Caitlin and Shannon for your wonderful suggestions to augment and enhance my podcast training plan. I am deeply grateful for your offerings, energy and solidarity in the process of becoming better podcasters. 

And finally, would like to send a huge shout-out to certifiable Master Podcasters Katie and Jessie!!! You have been so great in sharing with me your love of the sport, analyzing new episodes with me each week and providing guidance on my own training plan. Because of you two, I am a better podcaster each and every day. Thank you for your patience and support while I was in Level 1 of training. Together, you brought me to Level 3. Congratulations, I only dream of being you one day. 

And that's it folks, my guidance for podcasting! And not that you asked, but if you are looking for book suggestions, here's my favorites of the season:

1) Euphoria by Lily King - Enthralling book about an anthropologist studying tribes in New Guinea, based on the life of Margaret Mead...fascinating and wonderfully written, goes fast! She also wrote another great book about a woman navigating the world with an alcoholic father. It's called Father of the Rain and I also highly recommend. 

2) Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea by Barbara Demick- This is a well-told history lessons of North Korea made more digestible by telling it through the lens of six North Korean citizens who eventually defect to South Korea by way of China and Japan). 

3) Fates and Furies by Lauren Groff - It was Obama's favorite book of 2015, enough said! Read it, do it.

4) Room by Emma Donahue because it's been a favorite since I read it and am actually being paid by the movie business to convince everyone to read and subsequently watch it before Brie Larson (aka Ma) goes up for an Oscar later this month.

5) Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates which should be required reading for every human who cares about race relations in the USA. A powerful narrative of being black in America as told through a letter from Coates to his son.