On being famous

I'm not actually famous, sometimes I feel that I am in my small town where I can enter a building an everyone says, ¡¡BEA BEA BEA!! like they just saw Beyonce walk in. Dayummm it feels good. But, my claim to fame this week is that I was interviewed by a Peace Corps blogger serving in Zambia who got ahold of me for a really cool blogging project she's working on - interviewing a Peace Corps Volunteer in every country where Peace Corps currently serves. A huge endeavor but mighty cool! So, check out my interview! 

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Name, hometown, and age: Bronwen “Bea” Raff from Hailey, Idaho; 24 years old.

What country and program do you serve in? Please give a summary of your program goals and what your typical work includes. 

I serve in a small community in the northwest of the Dominican Republic, sharing the northern-most border (km 0) with Haiti. I am a Health Volunteer and my project framework includes working with women and youth to train them as health promoters, and building improved cookstoves made from cement and clay. My informal responsibilities include teaching English, drinking coffee on various porches around town with old ladies, implementing a rural emergency response system like “911” where there is none, and learning to dance salsa.

What is your housing like? What amenities do/n’t you have? What are some of the biggest challenges of your lifestyle? 

I still live with a host family even though it was only a requirement for the first four months in site. I live above their main house and have my own separate entrance so I get my privacy, but I also have a family looking out for me (ie. when I get really sick and can’t make it downstairs to eat they’ll bring me up soup and juices). I live in a small bedroom with a fan(!), an indoor bathroom(!), a mosquito-infested closet, two windows and a desk-turned-bookshelf-turned-kitchen counter-turned-coffee table depending on the day. I share a kitchen with my host family and that’s perhaps one of the most frustrating parts of service for me. I never feel I can whip up my own recipes or entertain my own visitors and guests. Because of this, I have a pretty boring and basic diet. I tend to eat coffee and bread (with peanut butter if I’m lucky and my supply doesn’t run out before I go to the big city for a refill) for breakfast, for lunch, I eat rice, beans and chicken everyday without fail, and for dinner, I tend to scrounge, maybe eating whatever a neighbor cooks and offers me, perhaps boiling some eggs, occasionally an empanada or some mashed bananas with fried cheese (yummy!)

What are your host-country neighbors like as a people? 

Dominicans are spicy! They have lots of flavor and often in excess. Be it kindness, they go above and beyond, offering whatever they have in the kitchen sink to visitors. Be it assertiveness, Dominicans are strong in their wording and very direct, sometimes overly so (like when calling me fat, skinny, ugly, tired, charred from the sun, greasy haired, etc). Be it confidence, Dominicans will try to convince you of everything – herbal tea remedies, that the sun revolves around the each, that dengue comes from Obama, etc – they will convince you of what they believe in and do it with serious flow.

I love how close-knit families are here and how much neighbors look out for each other. Dominicans are extremely social and the heat permits lots of time spent in plastic chairs gabbing with friends, family and neighbors in the street, sometimes blasting music, sometimes just trying to catch a breeze, sometimes praying, sometimes gossiping, sometimes buying things from vendors who walk around with goods in buckets on their heads. It’s a vibrant culture with spirit, energy and amazing hospitality.

What are some of the most rewarding parts of your service? What have been some of your greatest challenges? Has PC service met/surpassed/trample don your expectations of what service would be like?

Rewarding? Huh, it’s all pretty rewarding for me at this point. I love my projects and the way I’ve made the health sector’s initiatives work for me and my community. I have loved being adopted into a family and looked out for by so many community members. I feel fulfilled by my capacity to travel easily in a bustling country of organized chaos and speaking Spanish fluently. I love that my days here fill me with happiness and that I am proud of my work. I love that this is my life and that I am so lucky to be experiencing every moment of it. I came into Peace Corps with certain expectations of what it would be like – the community I would be in, the living situation I’d be in, etc. But after a few months, I forgot all of those expectations and just took the culture, country and my service head on, acknowledging challenges as they came, but not focusing too much on how it “should be.” Doing that is toxic. Comparing yourself to others is dangerous. It makes for a long 27 months and a pretty miserable day to day life. Once I started digesting and reflecting on my life as it was happening not as I thought it should be happening I was exponentially happier, it was one of the most important lessons I've learned. I always remind myself, it is what it is. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Why did you join Peace Corps? Looking back, do those reasons still apply to you now?

Applying to the Peace Corps was an obvious route for me, I was a Peace and Justice Studies/Community Health major in college and had always dreamed of living abroad. I knew I’d apply but I didn’t really think I’d ever join Peace Corps. I sort of just wanted to prove that I could get in. I didn’t want to teach English in a foreign country just to live abroad. I needed to know that I was making the correct step professionally. So when I was accepted to a health program in a Spanish-speaking country, I knew the fates had aligned and it was the right path forward. I resisted the idea of accepting for a while, especially after various articles my mom sent, highlighting medical problems past PCVS have had, violence against women in far-flung countries, sobering sexual assault cases and lack of support and other horror stories that have dampened Peace Corps’ image throughout the years. But I accepted a month before graduation and never looked back. Now, over 21 months in, I’m glad I said yes, and very much think it has and will continue to inform my professional career.

Do you feel like Peace Corps is still a worthwhile program for the U.S. Government? 

Absolutely! Economically speaking, it’s a drop in the bucket. Peace Corps’ budget was $379 million in FY2014, that’s nothing. USAID requested $22.3 billion for FY2016, the 19 Smithsonian museums in DC are operating on $851 million for FY2015. The Corporation for National and Community Service (the branch that supports AmeriCorps) has a budget of $1.18 billion. So yeah, Peace Corps deserves to keep sticking around financially. I’m not saying that any of the above examples shouldn’t be given as much funding, I’m just saying that relatively, funding Peace Corps is cheap.

Also, as a patriotic individual, I believe in the benefit of having “friends on the ground” living with host-country nationals and educating others on American life. Yes, it’s diplomatic, but it works. We are an integral part of cross-cultural understanding and as the world gets smaller, that knowledge becomes increasingly important. If I can help someone understand that the United States is more than Nueva Yol, Beyoncé and the Red Sox, I’ve done a good deed. We are the peacekeepers, and on an idealist level, I believe strongly in the importance of this.

If you had to give a piece of advice to someone thinking about applying to PC or getting ready for staging, what would you say? 

27 months is a long time. Take it day by day at first, work up to taking it week by week, and eventually you’ll stop counting down the days and the months will fly by. Do something in your site that fulfills you, not just a requirement or initiative. Make friends with host-country nationals. Learn the language as quickly as possible. Reflect often. Write things down. Show up, even if you don’t want to. Drink your country’s kool-aid not only by literally drinking local beverages but also by learning to love the culture. The sooner you love where you are, the better your service will be.

Any plans for post-Peace Corps? 

Hopefully a big cross-country American road trip to see all the friends and family I’ve neglected for the past 27 months. Then back to Idaho for Thanksgiving and Christmas and moving to a new city (Seattle, San Fran, DC?) with a (hopefully) job in January 2016.

Check out Hannah's blog here: https://hannahgoesfishing.wordpress.com/

But why would I ever want to leave this beautiful place?

On milestones

Here's a timeline of the most momentous occasions in my Peace Corps Dominican Republic adventure:

October 2012: Submitted my application for the United States Peace Corps, a dream I've had since I was in high school.

November 2012: Interviewed with the Boston recruiter and she sent me a formal nomination for health, education or environment sectors.

April 2013: After months of waiting and no word on Peace Corps' end, I received my invitation to serve in the Health sector in Peace Corps Dominican Republic

May 2013: Invitation accepted!

August 20, 2013: Attended staging in Washington, DC.

August 21, 2013: Arrived in country confused and tired.

August 21 - September 9, 2013: Pre-service training in the Capital.

September 9 - October 18, 2013: Community-based training in El Portón.

October 20, 2013: Discovered our site placements! I'm going to Manzanillo, in the province of Montecristi in the northwest! ¡Lejos!

October 25-28, 2013: Spent my first weekend in Manzanillo.

October 30, 2013: Swore in as a Peace Corps Volunteer.

November 4, 2013: First day in my very own apartment/bedroom above an amazing host family's house.

November 28, 2013: Thanksgiving with my PCDR family, one of the best ones yet.

December 25, 2013: First time I've cried in country. I was missing Idaho snow and Christmas food with my parents. But I got over it as soon as we slaughtered and ate my Christmas pig, Canchito. Yummmm. ¡Que rico!

February 11-14, 2014: 3-month In-Service Training. Wow, I've been in site for three months already. Time has come to formally start my projects.

February 28, 2014: Turned 23 and celebrated it on the beach with great friends.

March 23, 2014: Received a $3500 PEPFAR Grant to start and facilitate projects focusing on HIV/AIDS with women and youth.

April 4-6, 2014: Attended my first conference, Brigada Verde, to promote sustainability and environmental education with two youth from Manzanillo.

April 9-12, 2014: Traveled with a group of youth to the capital to see "politics in action," complete with a trip to the National Palace and Supreme Court.

April 22, 2014: Planted 56 trees in town to celebrate Earth Day.

May 28, 2014: Graduated 8 adult English language learners from Bea's English School.

June 6-7, 2014: Hosted my very first youth group exchange in Manzanillo with Elana's group from Clavellina, Dajabón.

June 14-15, 2014: Planned and attended my second youth group exchange with Julie in Palo Verde, Montecristi.

July 19, 2014: Graduated 36 youth in Manzanillo's very first Escojo Mi Vida graduation.

August 2, 2014: Last beach day with the original Montecristi crew, as Julie is leaving for America!

August 6, 2013: Graduated 16 women in Copey's very first Hogares Saludables graduation.

August 12, 2014: Received $3,000 grant from World Connect to construct 30 stoves in Copey.

August 20, 2014: Graduated 24 women in Manzanillo's very first Hogares Saludables graduation.

August 28-30, 2014: Brought 2 students to a Deportes Para la Vida (Sports for Life) Training of the Trainers, learning how to teach HIV/AIDS prevention through sports and exercise.

September 2, 2015: First day of stove construction!

September 14-24, 2014: Home to America for the Blog It Home Tour and visit from my momma.

September 25-28, 2014: One-Year Celebration with my swear-in group!

October 30, 2014: One year since swear-in, strange time - one of much reflection.

November 4-7, 2014: One year In-Service Training (IST!)

November 24-28, 2014: Selected for the coveted Thanksgiving Baking Team, spending a week making green bean casserole and macaroni and cheese in the house of the director of the USAID DR mission. Can someone say hot water, wifi and a fridge full of snacks?!

November 29, 2014: Escojo youth leadership workshop for superstar youth - promoting sustainability and leadership within Escojo Mi Vida!

December 6-29, 2014: Back to Idaho for Christmas!

January 10, 2015: Finished all 30 stoves in Copey and applied for a grant to do another 40, what was I thinking?

January 17, 2015: Ran my first 5k race in country, what an experience.

February 19-23, 2015: Climbed Pico Duarte, the tallest mountain in the Caribbean (or the 79th tallest in the world).

February 28, 2015: Turned 24!

April 29 - May 1, 2015: Chaperoned youth at a business conferences called Construye Tus Sueños, Build Your Dreams.
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Since this was published, I have also done the following:

June 3-5, 2015: Coordinated and co-facilitated a stoves training for the new group of volunteers.

June 5 - July 4, 2015: Second time in my service that I've completed the "30-Day Challenge" of staying in my site for an entire month without leaving. It's harder than you'd think! In that month, I was extremely productive, making cookstoves, facilitating first aid trainings and compartir-ing like a true Dominican!

June 24, 2015: Hosted my "daughter" Gissaury's birthday party and first time organizing children's play.

Where will I go from here? COS is 65 days away! 

On marrying for money

I spent the better part of the morning translating text messages that my Spanish-speaking neighbor sent to his English-speaking bride in the Bahamas. He approached me as I was doing laundry and asked if I could help him translate. I usually get approached for weird gigs like this and I always say yes - whatever I can do to help I guess, a su orden. Usually people ask me to read their medicine bottles, expired medications they bought off the street and were probably once donations to the earthquake relief fund in Haiti, electronics instructions and high school English homework.

This time started out no differently, but you know those moments when you jump into something and it’s only after it ends that you realize what really happened? Well that’s what went down. Only after a few translated messages did I realize that I was negotiating a business deal between a man who married a woman (actually that’s a generous description, she is a 19-year old pregnant girl) for business. He is getting his papers to be able to work and live in the Bahamas, and ironically enough, send money back to his wife and four children here. He’s a fisherman, by no means wealthy but also not poor. He travels for 8-10 months of the year, sending money back to support his family and visiting for a month after every six months abroad.

Most of the text messages comprised of this child-bride saying, “I need money to go to the immigration office, I’m pregnant and won’t walk there.” And him telling me to respond, “Tell her that she needs to go to the office and ask for my papers. Tell her that she needs to convince them that she needs me to go there.” And then she’d say something about not having money again and he’d say, “I can’t give you money if you don’t get me the papers.” After half an hour, they were at a standstill. She wouldn’t go to the immigration office without transportation money and some kind of down payment (I can only assume) but he couldn’t get her the money until he was there. In my head, I kept thinking, even if this was legal, which it isn’t, this is a horribly thought out plan. Who just marries some young girl, doesn’t give her money or instructions, and expects her to walk miles down to the immigration office with a bulging baby belly and no plan?

Do I feel guilty about aiding my neighbor? Kind of. Do I feel weird about how I now see my neighbor? Yes. Do I feel like I can do anything? Nope. Maybe his heart is in the “right” place (in my mind, I interpret “right” as his desire to support his family), but I still refuse to believe that it’s the only option. And then there’s that girl sitting in the Bahamas, married to a flaky Dominican who can’t even send her money she thought would come easily once they were wed. And what of her sanctity? The part that really gets me is how easily my neighbor can talk about it, like he’s gabbing about the weather, and how unaffected he is by falsifying something as strong as marriage. I’ve never been one to know with all certainty that I’m going to get married. In fact, for much of my life I’ve been vehemently opposed to the idea. However, living on this island for two years has given me new perspective on the concept of marriage. That’s a damn strong bond, both legally and emotionally. It’s not easy to get out of and yet I watch so many people here marry for money, visas, the chance of a “better life.” But once that “life” happens, how do you backtrack? How do you then bring the people you truly love to America, or make enough money to stop fishing in the Bahamas and live here with your real family? How much does it cost to get out of a marriage? All of these things were on my mind as I sent the final text to this woman in Nassau, Bahamas waiting for her legal husband to send her money to support her actual family. My neighbor turned to me after and he said, I’m fucked aren’t I? I told him I didn’t really know but it did seem that he jumped into this business deal quite prematurely. She doesn’t know how to get you papers, I told him. Is “I’m sorry” the correct response? Who knows, but I said it anyway.

I walked away and thought to myself, shall I ever decide to marry, it’ll be because I truly deeply have thought about the institution and the person to which I would be committing myself. But not a millisecond later, I realized how lucky I am to have that option – to marry should I wish and to not marry if I don’t. My fortunate background and culture have given this option to me, but the world is a vicious place, one where this backwards-moral-means-to-an-end is ever too abundant.

On a tribute to the Montecristi crew

To get materials for groups, decent food options, a solid internet connection, or delicious fried chicken, I have to head to the nearest town - Montecristi. It's a beautiful beach town a motorcycle and bus ride away from me. Here are some shots of the big pueblo!

Salt mines - you can buy a 5lb bag of salt rocks for $1USD.

Ocean water is pumped into salt flats and the sun dries it out in a few days, leaving salt crystals for workers to shovel up in wheelbarrows and deposit in these storage huts.

Montecristi has beaches, but the best part, perhaps, are the seven sand bars just a 20 minute boat ride off the coast. 

Friends and beach, what could be better?

I took the path less traveled by...

And that has made all the difference. 

Sand bars off the coast of Montecristi!

Only one hour after this and we'd be gorging ourselves on tour guide Soraya's homemade cheese-filled yuca balls, rice, fish and natural seven-fruit juice.

Andy and I during carnival celebrations, don't leave me Andy!!!

The crew - Lauren, me and Andy...only missing Julie, who left us last August :( 

Beach selfie!

Julie! In a photo I resurrected from our last true beach day in August 2014.

Lilo - our favorite restaurant and the only place to go for solid, reliable internet in the entire province.

And sometimes I take youth here for an escape from the campo. 

And we take goofy pictures on the dock.

Oh yeah, and I do actual work like youth conferences here sometimes!

But I mostly just come for this, El Zapato, and the most beautiful view in the country!

There are currently only 4 volunteers in the entire Montecristi province, whereas some provinces close to the capital have upwards of 30. But - I have the best crew in the world and a beautiful site I wouldn't change for the world!

On interruptions...um rude.

¡Olé!

I live in a loud and obnoxious culture. Loud because there are motors, cars, horns, music, chickens, goats, dogs, babies and people yelling at every street corner at every hour of the day. For example, my friend lives in a house on main street right in front of the largest colmado in town. At least once a day, some car with a huge bass and amazing sound system (ways people choose to spend their money in a place with such poverty will be the subject of another mensaje entirely) parks in front of the house and spends 15 minutes with music blaring, much to the dismay of said friend. She told me the other day, “I’m pretty sure I could do all my work in half the time here if only there weren’t so many interruptions.” Oh girl...I feel you!

The top five most notable common interruptions are as follows:

1) In the middle of a meeting, someone will show up late and scream “SALUDOS/GREETINGS”  and walking from participant to participant kissing them on the cheek (sometimes catching up about families and children) while breaking everyone’s concentration and starting a waterfall of mumbled “hellos” and “good day my friends" and rendering it nearly impossible to get back on track, especially when the interruptions with people showing up late for meetings happens for at least an hour after said meeting starts. 

2) When you’re on the phone with someone, it’s more than acceptable to start and finish a conversation with someone face to face in the interim. This one doesn’t make sense to me because cellphone minutes are really expensive here and everyone is super stingy with their cellphone time, so I don’t really understand why people think it’s okay to interrupt and bombard other peoples minutes. This interruption has caused much headache to American callers who want to kill me when I say, “Hang on, one sec, someone’s calling me, be right back, lemme just finish this conversation, ah I can’t hear you, someone’s yelling at me.”

3) During class, a student from another course will walk in and say, “I need to talk to so and so” or “Can I borrow a pencil?” and just strut on in, interrupting whoever’s speaking with no care in the world for the lesson at hand, teachers present, or people doing their work. Also related, during at least 1 or 2 school days a week, something “important” will come up and the school lets out for the day a period or full afternoon early. Some of these important interruptions include: the food for the day wasn’t enough and 2 entire classes were left without food, the food sent from a nearby cafeteria for all the students is rotten, the teachers have to cash in their paychecks in the town over, it might rain, or the teachers need to discuss something as a group. 

4) When you really need electricity for something (laundry, internet, hair drying, cooking something, blending, ironing) and it goes out in the middle of your chore. They say we are on a lights schedule here in Manzanillo but I can’t tell what it is and sometimes I can get all my laundry done before it goes out, otherwise it’s an interrupted laundry day where I just have to leave wet, soggy, mushy clothes in the hot sun to get moldy and grody. Or, I'll be having a much needed conversation in English with a friend from home and all the sudden, boom, no internet! No electricity, take that! 

5) If my door is open, no matter what I’m doing, people can enter. Favorite moments include when I’m sweaty and doing a workout video and children just come and watch me from the balcony. Or when I’m working and tell kids to leave me in peace until the afternoon and they’re back in five minutes just checking in, “When can I come back, when are you going to be done, can I help, can I color on the floor, can I just watch you, can I interrupt you?” I still don't have a solution to this one because I hate to close the door because it’s a) rude and b) hot, but dayumm, sometimes I just have to to get things done!

Let's be real, I don’t really mind all the day’s little interruptions, they add flavor and spice to the day's happenings! I only ever feel bad when I’m on the phone talking to an American and I keep having to yell during our conversations. Apologies for all of you this has happened to! It’s just the way it is here, and it all boils down to culture.

Gotta go, being pulled out by little girls who want to color!

Until next time,

Bea

On smiling lots :)

¡Buen día mi gente! 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about happiness. Something a friend said to me a while back really stuck with me and has acted as a guiding principle these past few months. He was describing driving home to Seattle from Idaho, a routine and mundane task, but explained that periodically throughout the drive he’d get an overwhelming sensation of happiness (especially when blasting “Uptown Funk”) . There was nothing especially happy or even special about the moment, but perhaps it was memories that welled up, the beauty of the drive or just the simple moment that brought a smile to his face.

Sure there are times when I’m frustrated here, but more and more lately, I find myself smiling. Just finding these beautiful moments and grinning to myself like I’m the only one who’s been told a secret. I have my own inside jokes that light me up inside and I spread an outward grin. Sometimes my grin comes out when I’m eating rice and beans and thinking to myself "Damn these are tasty", or when my little adopted daughter calls me Beita, which means “Little Bea,” an affectionate derivative of my name. It appears on my face when a doña gives me coffee and already knows I take it without sugar, when I learn all the words to a bachata song and sing it out loud to amazed spectators, when I spend the entire month of February memorizing the words to the DR’s national anthem and get it right just in time for Independence Day! I smile when watching kids invent baseball games with plastic bottles and dirty socks, being told I'm a good dancer, not feeling awkward at 24-hour funerals, bucket bathing, not washing my hair for five days and people still saying, “God bless your hair, Bea,” realizing how fully I can express myself in Spanish, saying something people think is really funny for an American to say, being called a tiguera. For these and so many more precious small moments everyday, I smile. And at the risk of sounding like the song “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music, I’ll stop there.

My best friend and fellow PCV, Dante, reminded me today – “Bea, appreciate every single day here because once you leave, there will never be anything else like it.” Every day I’m going to find something to smile about even if the only person I get to share my happiness with is myself. Christopher McCandless from Back to the Wild got it all wrong. His dying quote, “Happiness is only real when shared,” is only partly true. Yes, friends and family and society give us so much, but I’ve felt so much recently that I am the source and true appreciation for my own happiness.

I hope you find those simple moments of happiness and just smile and appreciate your surroundings and your own self. Because, after all, you are the only thing you get to take with you everywhere! To end with a quote: “When each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises.” Also, it’s Monday so show your feelings, spread love and give someone special a big hug!

In other news this week: 

- My project implementing a rural 911 system is going swimmingly. Nine wonderful first responders have been trained and are now actively responding to emergencies in Manzanillo and the outskirts. It's a soft opening because we still need to do a lot of testing on our Beacon system, but the most important part is that the people are trained and responding. We had a beautiful graduation on the beach full of fried fish, tiny shrimp, conch, lots of fried plantains and plenty of dancing! (Photos below). 

- I am the town's new aerobics instructor thanks to a serendipitous phone call from the town mayor asking me to start on Monday. I've been trying to start a women's aerobics group for a while now, but the best part is he's been announcing it around town so hopefully there will be quite the group! 

- My grant to build 40 more improved cookstoves was approved. Now it's just a waiting game until Peace Corps HQ transfers the funds, but it will be a wonderful summer project. Thank you to all who already donated! The first 30 stoves are done and being well-used! 

- It's almost Semana Santa (Holy Week) so town is abuzz with visitors from afuera (abroad) coming or making plans to come. The beach is always full and the mood is jovial! It's a wonderful time to be a Manzaniellera! Special food for this time includes habichuela con dulce or sweet beans, a scrumptious pudding type thing only made during this time of year. 

- Four of my best friends from America are visiting this week! Queue vacation! We're off to the beach to relax but it will be a bittersweet visit before one of my friends (Alix) takes a job with the Clinton Health Access Initiative in SWAZILAND! Congratulations!!!! 

Sending all my hugs and kisses, 

Bea 

You can't even begin to imagine the amount of tostones I made with this bunch of plantains!

The boys in my life. Love these lil dudes!

A forgotten photo from carnaval celebrations the 27th of February

Three girls waiting for Mama Julia to give a Catholicism class teaching the cross and hail Mary's to five year olds. I sit in on the class too, because it's embarrassing to go to church and not know how to say all the stuff in Spanish. 

My chaotic family! 

First Aid graduation at the beach! Dancing! 

Another proud moment, one of our graduates, Victor, gave a presentation to a group of 8th graders about the importance of first aid, community service and helping thy neighbor.

The graduates showing off their certificates. Proud teacher moment! 

On funerals and life lessons

¡Saludos mi gente! 

Sorry for such a delay since the last mensaje, I've had technical difficulties, my computer's been dead for a week now and the charger blew up due to a big 'ol power surge and mega high voltages. I know more about lowering and raising light now that I ever need to and I'm definitely going to think twice before plugging my computer into an unprotected socket. But such is life in a developing country. Since we last spoke, I've climbed a really big mountain, celebrated the DR's infamous carnaval celebrations and Independence Day on the 27th, turned 24(!!) on the 28th, and welcomed the newest group of volunteers to country! This week I want to chat about funerals and what death has taught me about life. 

Peace Corps Volunteers go to a lot of funerals. In small towns and villages, because everyone knows and is related to everyone, you must pay your respects at every death in town even if it’s fulano’s brother’s sister’s cousin’s mom that you only ever said hi to from the back row in church. Especially if you don't know the person who died but you know the family, you’re expected to go cumplir and sit for hours and hours in someone’s house talking to family members, seeing the dead person in their open casket and eating lots of food. Funerals and death work differently here than they do in America. While we are used to embalming the body or cremating someone and then having a celebration of life ceremony months later, everything here happens very quickly. 

Here’s a cheat sheet to death in the DR step by step:

1) Immediately after death: When someone dies, the family prepares the body and it’s ready and in a casket at the house within four or five hours. Friends, neighbors and distant relatives spend the day with the immediate family and pull an all-nighter to wake up with the family in the morning. This is known as the velorio and is done so that the close family doesn't have to wake up alone in their own grief. The community comes together to support the family. This part of death includes lots of porch sitting, food, coffee and story telling. 

2) The next day: The day after death, the body is taken to church for mass (if there is a church in town, if not, someone speaks words over the body and there's a ton of praying) and then on to the cemetery, usually led by a hearse and hundreds of community members walking behind. The body is then entered into the family’s plot while close family members scream, cry and touch the casket until the last possible moment. Instead of being buried underground, each family reserves a certain amount of space in the cemetery and they build a huge shrine with little shelves where the caskets go. If you run out of space, the family just keeps building cement shelves on top of the others. Then, the funeral organizers close up the shelf’s slot with cement. This is called the entierro.

3) Nueve días: For the first nine days after a person’s death, a vigil is held with close family members every night. On the ninth day, there is a large mass and more food/family time. This is called nueve días and is the second time (after the velorio) that the entire community comes together to pray and send the body safely to heaven.

4) Each month after death: Then, on the date of the death each month for the next year, the close family takes flowers to the grave site and has a vigil in the home with candles and prayer. This is the cunplemes.

5) Each year after death for seven years: On the anniversary of someone’s death each year for seven years, close family brings more flowers to the grave and eats more food in close company. This is the aniversario. Usually there is a huge mass in town on the 1st anniversary of death. 

Addendum: The close family members must wear black, gray and white for at least the first 9 days of mourning. Then, an individual will decide how long they wish to continue mourning, some choose to do so until the first month anniversary, others choose the full seven years (it's rare to mourn this long, but some do in the case of the loss of a child). This is called luto. During luto, you can't dance, drink or play loud music and community members have to respect the time you choose to mourn and not encourage you to dance, sing or dress up. People are in general, very respectful during this time. 

Last week, Máxima, one of my favorite old doñas who was about to turn 99 years old, died. Reflecting on her death makes has helped me understand just a little more about life. Here are three things doña Máxima taught me about life.

1) Life is long.

There’s plenty of cheesy sayings explaining how very short and precious life is, but I believe thinking about life in terms of it being long and full of adventures, relationships, experiences, etc. actually helps me live better. Máxima’s life was long and she lived every moment of it. She was the brightest and happiest doña I’ve ever met, even though she was 90% blind, had a croaky voice no one could understand and sat on the couch all day every day. She liked to sit right by the window overlooking main street and she’d yell and greet the people she knew walking by. Every time I walked into her house and greeted her with a big “HOLA MAXIMA” she would know it was me by voice and hug alone. She always offered up whatever she was eating and made sure to keep a spot on the couch open right next to her for visitors. She lived a long and good life, and I hope to live like she did up until the day I hopefully turn 99. Knowing how very long life can be, I would rather live it like Maxima, happily and kindly, making the most of every relationship that I can. So much time to learn and grow! 

2) Staying in bed is easy.

This isn't a comment so much about my good friend Maxima (who quite literally stayed in bed or in a rocker all day) but it's to say that Maxima’s death lit a fire under me to compartir more (which may sound funny to some of you who think that I literally compartir all day and don’t actually work – this is not the case). My whole community is out there and it's often much easier to just stay in bed/at home watching TV shows, reading good books or drinking vats of coffee and not visit neighbors. And I'd been rather good about visiting Maxima lately but there was a time when I avoided her house because it was the one with all the tigueres out front and I hated getting cat-called and hissed at. I rationalized not stopping by her house more than I motivated myself to get up and go. And when the news of her death came, I felt guilty. Yes I'd visited her six times in the last month, but I only ever stayed long enough to update her on life and then I rolled out. I know people always feel guilty about not visiting loved ones especially when they pass away, but most people don't have a community of old lovely people within a ten minute walk. Maxima’s death will remind me to visit my beloved community members with more regularity and take that part of my job just as seriously as I take the measurable "work" part.  

3) Just imagine how much life Maxima saw.

And by this I mean, it’s truly incredible how much doñas know about life. From secret remedies and weird concoctions to drama and town gossip, Maxima knew everything. She was the queen of her little perch on the couch and saw hundreds of people pass by her house everyday. She also probably had upwards of 10-15 visitors a day stopping by to besa mano, blow kisses, and update Maxima on their families, children, ailments, etc. Doñas are sage members of society, well versed in love, sadness, happiness and every other emotion on the spectrum. And Maxima carried her wisdom beautifully.

Maxima's death was sad, of course. But when there is so much death around me, it becomes less ominous and overwhelming. The most important take away I'll have from an endless stream of velorios is learning how to productively reflect and grow from each death. Maxima was a great teacher in life and even more so in her death. She will be forever missed!  

So there you have it, my reflection on life, death and my favorite doña Maxima. In the vein of talking about living life, I hiked the Caribbean’s tallest mountain, also known as Pico Duarte, the 79^th tallest mountain in the world, Mud Hell Mountain, or the hardest hike I’ve ever done. I didn’t believe other volunteers who said it was very difficult and they wished they’d trained. Phew, I thought, they’re just weak and out of shape. Well, needless to say, they were right, I should have trained! It was a grueling 55 kilometer, three day, mud filled adventure that just kept getting better! I went with three other volunteers and my best friend from America (thanks for all the snacks!). The only training I did was not wash my hair for five days in preparation for no showers. Como quiera it got greasy. I am really lucky to have been placed in this beautiful country with diverse geography, affording me the opportunities to climb mountains, sit on beaches and swim in river. If y’all haven’t visited, you really should!!!