Hello comrades!
You’ll never believe it, but I won!!!! I won the 2nd annual Peace Corps’ Blog It Home competition! Chickachicka yeah baby! The cool news is that I will be heading to Washington, DC from September 14-19 to represent my little island in a (publicity) tour of the city. I hope to stay a few days longer and see my besties and momma (!!!) over the weekend. I am dying to drink some good wine, eat some good food (kale), throw my toilet paper in the toilet after I poop and drink water straight from the tap. I know, I’m a lush. So thank you for voting and thank you for being the best friends a Peace Corps Volunteer could ask for. We did it!
Now, this is also crazy – I’ve been here for a year. WHAT?! And, in that year, I have learned some extremely valuable lessons. Here’s the top ten:
1) Always bring your own TP.
This is serious. I bring my own TP with me everywhere, anywhere and always. I’ve had emergency situations on a Caribe Tours bus with the nasty tiny latrine type thing in back, but that’s too obvious, of course I’d bring your own toilet paper, I’d have to be a rookie volunteer not to. Not so obvious situations in which you should bring your own TP include when walking to the neighbor’s house just for a cup of coffee and it starts raining so hard you can’t leave and the doña keeps offering you tostones and fried cheese. All the sudden all the fried stuff starts to settle really poorly in your tummy and you can’t leave because that would be rude (and remember, it’s raining really hard). So what do you do? You need to ask politely to use their potty, but obviously they have no water for bucket flushing and the TP is nowhere to be found. SO – you whip out the TP you stored in your tatas and wipe clean. Then you skeedadle without flushing, it’s gross I know, but worse things have happened and at least you got to wipe!
2) Best friends come in all shapes and sizes.
If you conjure up an image of my best friend, it would be a cool girl, around my age, sassy and smart. Well, I cannot count the number of best friends I have who are female and my age on even one finger. They don’t exist. Which was depressing at first until I realized that they’re all working the domestic shift inside the homes; taking care of their babies and cooking food. So who are my best friends? Five-year old girls and sixty-year old ladies. And they’re the best friends a girl could ask for. Letting go of expectations about what should be will let you truly find what can be. What I have found are the most amazing people who love me unconditionally and will play with my hair, tell me ridiculous stories, teach me cook and help me paint my nails. Who wouldn’t want a best friend like that?
3) I can eat (almost) anything.
Literally almost anything goes in and stays in. Everything except mondongo, cow intestines, liver and other squishy insides. I just cannot do it. But hand me a bowl chicken feet in a delicious stew, fried fish with eyes still intact, salad that probably wasn't chlorinated, some hard as rock looking bread, you give it, I’ll eat it. Mmmm. ¡Buen provecho!
4) I am really good at laughing at myself.
You have to be, really. It’s the name of the game here in the Peace Corps. It helps so much not to take yourself too seriously or fixate on what the community members will say about you (such as: she must be a lesbian because she's still single, have you seen how fat she's gotten, where was she the other week I totally invited her to my "staring at the wall in a plastic chair party" and she didn't come, etc) Having a good sense of humor is the best thing skill I’ve practiced here. And laughing is perfect stress relief or an icebreaker in an awkward cultural exchange.
5) Cross-cultural communication is more than just the language barriers.
The words I say and things I do are constantly lost in translation, not because I don’t speak well, but because intonations, sarcasm, tone of voice, stress, happiness and other emotions don’t come across well when the white American girl with the funny accent tries her hand in the conversation. Culture runs deep and that, too, makes communicating difficult. When I say I think it’s horrible that a husband and wife split up because of infidelity, they’ll agree with me with a nod of the head and say, “Gosh, she really should have cooked better for him.”
6) Some of the smartest people don’t have university degrees.
I’m particularly thinking of Mama Julia, this sassy old woman with more insider knowledge than Martha Stewart. She knows how to cure any ailment, fix any problem, help anyone anywhere and cook every ingredient in the kitchen. She can’t read. And then there’s the president of my women’s group, Francia, who without a college degree has started a women’s center, hosted plays and poetry sessions and traveled the island acting. Yes, formal education is important, but so, too, is being street smart. Here in the campo, cooking a great rice and beans lunch will get your farther than showing off a hefty university ring.
7) I can find happiness anywhere.
I just went to visit my best friend, Grayson, in her rural site called La Lima. She lives in the cutest and smallest town I’ve ever seen and it was absolutely wonderful. The more volunteer sites I see and places I visit and blogs I read, I realize I could probably live just about anywhere and be happy. But I am also happy when I’m alone in Manzanillo, reading or taking a “me” day to re-charge. I am learning and becoming very good at finding happiness and contentedness within myself, and that is a skill I can take anywhere.
8) I must constantly change my instrument for measuring success.
When I first arrived, I was upset that I only had ten women in my group. They were all bright and engaged, but I was mad that there weren’t more. I was angry with my community and the people who didn’t want to participate. It took me months to realize that I was seeing the situation all wrong. This wasn’t a problem, it was a success. Those ten women are more motivated and committed to Hogares Saludables then I ever could have asked for and are now, the sixteen I ended up graduating are the best health promoters in town. They are actively and eagerly conducting their house-to-house campaign and are always willing to help me with extra projects. Just because something isn’t my own definition of success (which comes from the deeply ingrained American vision of success), doesn’t mean it didn’t work, or won’t work. The DR is a different place with different systems for conducting business and completing projects. Once I changed the yardstick I used to measure my success, I felt infinitely more powerful and motivated in my community.
9) Sometimes you just have to pray.
I am not religious, but everyone DR is. So what does one do when the women want to start and end our weekly meetings with prayers? You do it. And what happens when they want you to pray? You do it...in English. And when someone dies and there’s an all night vigil? You go to their house and pray with them. And when you go to Catholic mass? You cross yourself and thank the holy trinity and such. And when you go to Evangelical services? You sing and dance and praise Jesus just like the rest of them. Because that’s the right thing to do. And while it may not be the way you see the world, you look into your heart of hearts and understand that religion brings community and community is what you seek. And then you go home and do yoga, run really far and really fast, write in a journal and think that whether there is something up there or not, we are all gonna be just fine, because humans are truly wonderful.
10) Cockroaches aren’t all that bad.
I love finding cockroaches. Some days, it’s the most action I get up in my little room. I’ve even name them (I've had a Cookie, a Juan, a Roachie and a Victor). I just flip off a flip-flop and smash ‘em up and sweep ‘em out of my room and wah-la, they’re gone! Sometimes when I’m visiting friends, we play the game, “Sweep the Cock” and the person who kills and sweeps out the most amount of roaches wins. I always win.
Well folks, there’s the top ten list of the week/year! More to come soon.
Sending you happy thoughts to start the school year and mark my first week as a real teacher in the high school (more on that later!).
Xoxox,
Bronwen
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